Let it be the last
by FallenHope-Angel
Summary: I do not own Saiyuki. Goku has lived this life time and again, he wants it to end. i'm thinking of making a sequel. review if you want one.


"My name is Son Goku and this is the story of how I came to be where I am today. Trapped in a mountain like the beast I am. After having been set free by my sun again, this is the story of how my life has always repeated and I never noticed it until now. My age appearance is that of an eight year old and my physical age is ten thousand yet I have never aged past the appearance of a sixteen year old. Here I am again waiting for my sun to come and know his new appearance, name, job, likes, dislikes, and my least favorite his death wish. It never changes; "Never stop smiling Goku we will always be here for you." Then I will meet the stars and the moon again, nothing will ever change. Blonde hair, amethyst eyes, red hair and red eyes, bespectacled green eyes and brown hair. All of them always filled with pain that I will multiply ten fold, then a hundred when we journey together, and a thousand when it is time for me to end their pitiful existence.

"Are you the one that's calling me? Shut up!" he never stopped lookin like the sun and I couldn't help it but I smile at him and pray to God that it will end with this one.

"Are you the sun?" his eyes narrow and his lip twitches briefly in a smile before he frowns and breaks the cage leaving me to follow behind him as his protector again.

"My… name is Goku." Let it be the last time I have to introduce myself.

"Che. Koryuu Douji." Let it be the last time that I fail to protect him from myself and have to suffer for my crimes again.

"Thank you for saving me… it was lonely in th cage. 'n all that time passed 'n no one come." A look of confusion crosses his face as he thinks if I was trapped up there for whatever amount of time passed in between their reincarnations. Let it be the last time I have to say this.

"You are my sun." a look of surprise, a faint blush and a scowl complete the look as he turns away from me. We come down from the mountain to the west of my home. My heart lying in the east shattered and my body tethered to the west while my soul withers in Tenkai. As time passes we meet the others.

"I am Tenpou Hakkai."

"I am the lovely Sha Kenren."

"Stop it! Don't hurt yourself if you already live in pain!"

"Just like fire but it doesn't burn." Always the same down to the manners they hold and yet I would not change a single detail not even if it could save them from me. They've faced the other me and look at me in a new light but they still stay and I can't take it any more so I do the only thing that I am good at. Fight. I fight to keep them alive and keep in control because I can't tell them this dark secret that I hide and protect them from. Not even the merciful goddess can save them from me, all she can do is keep me the way I am for their return so we can be reunited and fight for the happiness taken from us all. Taken from us so unjustly that we never had a chance to begin with but we fight. Because fighting is all we know what to do or rather all I am and ever will be good for.

"Hey monkey why so glum?"

"No real reason… just some important dates to remember." I told them which seemed to puzzle them but they let it be as I continued to watch the rain against the window watching every drop. Each holding a memory and the puddles holding the bloodiest of them all. Someone put their hand on my shoulder and I turned to see red eyes staring at me with worry. I had punched the glass and cut up my arms in anger.

"You just wouldn't understand… you haven't seen what I've seen." Green eyes watched me in concern as he pulled the glass out while my sun watched. The shame and helplessness I felt grew and I looked away from my sun not wanting to watch them slip close again. A hand on my cheek wiping at tears that I didn't want them to see fall.

"You'll all die again and leave me alone, all alone to wait. In darkness and silence like you always do."

"Goku what are you talking about?" green eyes asks and red eyes makes a noise of agreement. I can't even bring myself to name just call by the color of their eyes.

"Konzen Douji, Koryuu, Genjo Sanzo, Field general Tenpou Gensui, Cho Gonou, Cho Hakkai, War marshal Kenren Taisho, Sha Gojyo and they always change… now. Your names are all mixed up but I stay the same. Let it be the last time I cry like this because it will only hurt me when you die again." Let it be the last time I see the terror and shock in their faces like this again. Let it all change and be the last time I have to relive this again.


End file.
